Ah, the brass plates. Classic. So after (not when they were still in Jerusalem, but after) they had travelled something like a few hundred miles, (which makes me wonder, what exactly is God trying to prove here? That all good things come by way of sore feet?) Lehi has a dream that his sons need to return to Jerusalem to retrieve the brass plates, which were the Bible up to that time. No New Testament to be found, but still very valuable. Laman and Lemuel, who never seem to know the value of anything, complain. Nephi, who always seems to know how to win the hearts of everyone except Laman and Lemuel, says, "Jerusalem, ahoy! Man the sandals! Away we go!" or something like that. You gotta admire his gumption, but he must have been an exhausting dude to live with.
I love that when they finally get to Jerusalem they play the ancient Israeli version of "Bubble bubble gum in a dish" or some other elimination game to decide who goes first. I have never thought about this before, but it warrants consideration: if Nephi was so gung-ho, why didn't he just volunteer to go first? Could it be that he was just as scared as the others, but chose to leave that out of the story, seeing as he was writing about himself? I really respect those scriptural writers who have the guts to admit their own mistakes. "I myself am I wicked man ... " "I was guilty of levity ..." Now that's admirable. I won't even let people touch my mission journals, and I've told those close to me that if I die, I want them destroyed. Yes, I myself am a wicked, prideful woman.
Anyway, so Laman employs the genius strategy of walking up to Laban, keeper of said plates, and saying, "Hi. Can I have the plates?" Laban responds with violence. Laman comes back and says, "Well, shoot. We tried! Now, let's go home." You think that for a wicked guy, he would have more of a mind for treachery. Which further proves my point that Laman and Lemuel weren't so much downright intentionally wicked as lazy.
Nephi rallies the troops with a "Heck no! We won't go! Not without the plates at least!" Someone comes up with the idea of bribery. The Lehites had been a wealthy family before they took to nature, so it seems, so they go back to their house, gather all their riches, and try to buy the brass plates from Laban.
Laban is a really unreasonable guy. He once again responds with violence. The brothers four flee into the outskirts of town, sans property, and that seems to be the last straw for Laman and Lemuel. They are so pissed they start beating him with a rod.
Note, my friends, in your study of the scriptures, how many different words there are for "rod."
The brotherly brawl gets broken up by none other than an angel from God. He promises them that if they go back to Jerusalem one more time, God will deliver Laban into their hands. One assumes that the promise of an angel from God is pretty airtight, you know? But incredibly, Laman and Lemuel start complaining again immediately. Like in the next verse. Making them not only lazy but shortsighted and irritating. Really, there are some relatives about whom all you can do is laugh. Like my great-aunt Margaret in Montana.
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When you really think about it, Laman and Lemuel were being more than reasonable in helping out with the plates. Laban must have had a terrible reputation to have given Laman that kind of a greeting. The fact that Laman and Lemuel went along with the plan to try to buy the plates after Laban had threatened to kill Laman shows that Laman and Lemuel were really bending over backward to make things work. Remember that they were pretty irked about having to leave their inheritance behind. To come back to Jerusalem and use to their inheritance to try to bargain with a man who had threatened to kill them is a pretty impressive show of courage and sacrifice.
Or could have been. But it seems that that's not what it was in reality. Their hearts weren't in it. They weren't exercising true faith; rather, they were going along with Nephi's plan to see it fail and have all the more reason to hate him. It's like when I wash all the dishes so that I can stick it to my roommates for not pulling their share of the load or when I half-heartedly try the zone leader's new tracting scheme just so that I can say I did it and it failed. Laman and Lemuel went through some impressive motions, but their hearts weren't in it, as you can tell by Laman's ready capitulation after the first attempt and peremptory beat-down after the second.
I'm like Laman sometimes: I'll try anything once, enough to prove to you that it didn't work. I'll even try twice if you won't get off my back.
And here's the thing about the angel. After you've lost your worldly inheritance (and nearly your life) and you're alone in the desert trying to quash once and for all your little brother's inane motivational speeches, how should you react when some mysterious dude shows up and tells you to go back and face Laban? I mean it's one thing if a mysterious being shows up to tell you you're wrong; that should give you pause. But this guy basically sentences them to death: "Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands."
I mean let's be honest: which is more likely--that God appeared to your dad in a dream, told him to leave civilization and live in the desert, then reappeared and said, "Oops, we forgot to grab your genealogy. Send back the boys," then failed to deliver the plates on two tries, putting you in mortal danger, and finally wants you to try again so he can make everything work out; OR, that Lehi's been smoking a little too much of the holy leaf and Nephi has managed to connect with some evil spirits through his Ouija board? I mean if an angel appears and tells you to do something really dumb, you could reasonably suspect that he's not an angel of God.
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